J.Cole – Losing my Balance

I’ve been thinking and talking about balance a lot recently.

I think it’s so important to live a balanced life.

Saying that I find I’m always struggling to find my own equilibrium.

I live such a multi-faceted life and I’m just one girl.

Don’t lose your balance.

Start With Why – Simon Sinek

You know when you watch a knowledgeable, extremely articulate person explain a theory that you’ve believed in and been banging on about for T I M E and you can only dream of being able to explain it half as eloquently? No? Just me?!

Well yes, this is Simon Sinek who is a real OG. He wrote the Golden Circle, a coveted book based on a model he created that identifies what sets apart the most successful and influential individuals and organisations.

It’s all about the WHY. What is your why??

“He gave the ‘I have a dream’ speech, not the ‘I have a plan’ speech” – Simon Sinek

Thanks to Julie Hall of Women Unlimited who organised TedXKingsX last week where this TED talk was shown! Also thanks to the wonderful Servane of Ogunte for the ticket!

The Journey

I am 25 action-packed years young today!!

Dear blog readers,

Firstly, thank you for being a part of my journey, yes you. Thank You. I know lots of you check in here and don’t comment, but you tell me in other ways you read this online scrapbook of mine, so thanks.

I want to say that my life so far has been absolutely mental and totally action-packed, and I am very grateful for all of my life experiences, both good and bad, because they have made me the woman I am today. I think 25 is a bit of a milestone, and so think it is a good idea to spend some time reflecting on where I’ve come from and where I’m heading.

Blackberry Molasses

Perfect soundtrack to today’s Sunshine.
THROWBACK!

Lost One

Feeling like I’ve lost a good one right now.

“But time don’t go back it goes 4WD”

Relevance…

“We ain’t we, it’s me and her, cos what she prefers over me is work, and that’s where we defer, so I have to give her free time even if it hurts. So breath mami it’s deserved, you’ve been put on this earth to be all you can be like the reserves, and me my timing is on me, …the time’s now for her... and maybe we can be we again like we were. Finally my time’s too short to share, and to ask her now it ain’t fair”

The Moving Statchoo

THE MOVING STATCHOO, by Kamila, aged 7:

“Once upon a the ther was a statchoo hoo came alive. the statchoo lived next to a poned. when the statchoo looked in the poned ther was a duck in the poned halow. halow wats your name said the statchoo my name ow it’s mister smith wats your name said the duck ow it’s rose thats a nice name said the duck thak you said rose would you like to come to my house sure said the statchoo folow me so of thay whent what a lovely house said the rose thak you your wellcome. would you like to meet my famaly sure said rose when thay got in the house thay sore mister smifes wife. halow huny said miss smife halow wife meet Rose nice to meet you Rose thank you said Rose. would you like to live with us sure. let’s go swiming said mister smith ok i just love happy ending the end.”

-There is so much to learn from this story.

Thought

It’s his birthday today.
That’s it.
That’s all I have to say.

Are We a Lost Generation?

“There is Hope.

It is us.”

Peace & The Phoenix

I wrote this piece on the long plane journey from sunny Sao Paulo, Brazil back to miserable London, UK back in January this year. I’d been out there on an International Leadership Programme with WYSE and my hardnosedcitygirlself had really struggled with a lot of the introspective reflection required. It was the amazing people I was surrounded by who got me through. Reading this now. I still have a lot to learn and a lot to work on. And that is life.

I am eternally grateful to my WYSE family, and of course, the beautiful Phoenix.

—

For my WYSE family…

I want to let you all know I was wrong, and I am at peace with admitting it! I feel joy!

Peace IS within me. It is shining brighter every day.

It has been there all along, It was just buried deep down, covered by all of the hurts and pains I’ve stored and bottled. Being within a community of such wonderful, warm and beautiful people- all of whom projected peace from within (whether consciously or not) has shown me that peace I was looking for outside of myself was actually already within. And it didn’t need to be sought and ingested but actually needs to be unearthed and drawn out. I DO know what peace looks like – it is pure light. I DO know what peace feels like it is warm, and it is light. It’s just been a long time since I made time to find and identify peace within me.

I have been so busy, for so long, being the externally focussed pragmatist that I am, that I hadn’t made the time to check out my own interior. So cobwebs had formed and dust had gathered, to the extent where I initially struggled to get open my own front gate, let alone my front door.

I’ve spent the last few weeks, viewing your luminous houses, seeking sources for the peace I have desired for as long as I have ignored my inside. I have seen your radiant houses glow, pulsate and at times you have consumed my vision with your beams. Through clean sparkling windows I saw well maintained burning fireplaces and shimmering chandeliers, illuminating the outside world. I reluctantly looked over my shoulder at my own neglected house, with its dirty windows and shady garden. But then some of you started to pay attention to my aloof house, and some of you took the time and made the effort to ask challenging questions, speak cleansing words, share enlightening stories or give warm encouragements. It was then I risked opening up my rusty garden gates to you. How glad I am that I did. A number of you just stood in my garden and beautifully shone, lighting up its darkest corners, and flowers started to grow. I watched in amazement. All this time I thought pure independence was the way forward. Some of you served so beautifully you wiped the grime from the windows of my house with your own bare hands. I was speechless. Beyond overwhelmed. I saw out of the corner of my eye a faint glow shining through my windows’ internal layers of dirt. I smiled. I felt hope.

Your light shone a light on mine.

One stunning individual amongst you, who shone so brightly she near blinded me on first sight, walked confidently and directly up to my front door, turned to me and smiled. I nearly fainted with fear. She was so bright, so brilliant, so dazzling, I pried open my front door and let her in, despite its internal state. She was my first guest for a long time, and a Princess at that. I was almost ashamed of my abode’s state, how much of a mess it was and how much tat I had thrown about the place. But she didn’t judge me, and I felt safe with her. I felt so liberated I openly wept.

She held me and a warmth filled my core. She gently lit a match on my palm and gave it to me. As she walked around my rooms, she sometimes danced, sometimes laughed, and sometimes just took my hands in hers and looked at me. My heart leaped. Wherever she trod, her footprints made the rubbish at her feet so ugly, so insignificant, so unnecessary, I just had to set it alight. As she roamed, and I lit piece after piece, I began to feel lighter. I sighed. As the junk burnt, beneath it I found gorgeous lamps, torches and pretty candles, all inscribed with my name, all a part of me. I started to turn them on and put the candles in the darkest spots. They illuminated more junk, and I realised this was a major task, that might take my whole lifetime to fully complete. The brightness and the vividness were pure freedom. I started to wash the insides of my windows, I wanted to share with all my newfound light. I felt peace.

Perhaps while I cleaned, my light could shine on others.

I felt so elated. So strong, so free. So alight, so light.

She had seen all my junk, and yet still she took my face in her hands and told me I was truly beautiful. Outside I could hear your warm words reinforcing hers. I believed. I felt faith.

I then realised not only had I rediscovered peace, I had rediscovered trust.

I looked outside my clear windows and there you all were, in my garden, smiling and waving and telling me you could see my light and that it was growing in strength and intensity, I felt overwhelmed. So grateful. What amazing grace. What peace. What love. What life.

I turned and looked at this beautiful angel with flames in her eyes. She who I let dance in my house and who sung to my heart. She who’s presence doused my junk with gasoline, who gave me the match and showed me how to breathe worthless ashes into fiery flames. I want her with me always.

As purifying flames grew around me, and I felt cleansing heat on my back, she rose and transformed before me into a glittering bird so bold and beautiful the flames paled in comparison. Feathers aflame with the colours of the rainbow, I discovered a new beauty. A wild and free beauty that was not to be contained within another’s house, but was to rise and soar, to fly to new heights and spread the freedom of flames to others.

As she took flight, I wondered how I’d manage, how I’d cope without her song, how I’d enjoy life without her presence. I closed my eyes and tears rolled down my cheeks. I opened my eyes, and saw a feather dancing in a flame. I felt her warmth, and faintly heard her song. In love, in spirit, in peace, she was still with me.

I wondered how I’d manage without your support, without your encouragement, without your examples. In love, in spirit and in peace, you are all still with me, waving outside my window and smiling your beauty my way, your kind words ringing in my ears. A family of love and understanding. A family of peace.

What beautiful gifts.

NAMASTE

12th January 2010